As Long As You Both Shall Live
by arollercoasterthatonlygoesup
Summary: The first night, on the way to the Capitol, she sobs into his chest before she even has the chance to have a nightmare. This is enough of one. His arms go around her instantly. "Hey, hey," he murmurs. "It's okay. You're okay." (She wonders if she ever will be.) A wedding in six parts. Oneshot.


1

The first night, on the way to the Capitol, she sobs into his chest before she even has the chance to have a nightmare. This is enough of one. His arms go around her instantly.

"Hey, hey," he murmurs. "It's okay. You're okay."

(She wonders if she ever will be.)

2  
The night that they have the _rehearsal _for the wedding with Caesar Flickerman, Cinna puts her in a short lacy dress that – save for the fabric and the jewelry he pairs with it – could almost pass for something a merchant bride might wear in District Twelve.

Peeta makes the connection, too. Almost as soon as Haymitch walks her into the room. She can tell by the way his eyes widen. It's a little bit less bearable that they have to do this (that she has to do this to him, stand by his side and promise to _love him forever _and _honor him_ and kiss him) over and over again.

Later, after Effie has made it abundantly clear that they're not supposed to see each other again until the ceremony, he sneaks into her room.

("Isn't this bad luck?" she asks when the bed dips with his added weight.

"I don't care," he returns. She can't tell, in the dimly lit room she's been given, but it looks almost like he's been crying. "Think we've had enough of that to go around.")

3  
She likes the second dress much less. It's heavy and covered in pearls, but it's the one that the Capitol voted on. (And they must be pleased. That much has been all she's managed to worry about since right after her Games.) Under the veil that obstructs her view, her eye makeup is dark. It looks almost dangerous. Cinna informs her that it's waterproof, and she wonders what she'll need to do to muster up some tears. (They'll like that.)

Cinna hugs her in a dressing room that feels a little bit too much like the _launch room_ for her comfort. Haymitch comes to collect her, and as they ride up the elevator together, she wonders if she never really left the arena.

4  
She squeezes Peeta's hand so hard that her own hurts. She tries to pull it away, to release her grip, but Peeta gives her a gentle squeeze back. As if to make sure she knows that it's okay.

(She wonders if the pain is keeping him grounded, too.)

He interrupts Caesar in the middle of the vows, laughing and saying "Yes, I do, of course I do," somewhere around the time that Caesar mentions loving her. Her chest gives this funny little heave, and she can't stand to look at him, but it's no better to look at the white roses she's being forced to carry.

She doesn't interrupt Caesar. Doesn't know that she could pull it off. But she does say _I do_ and she doesn't even try to keep her voice from catching. (Effie has drilled it into her head that she's expected to be emotional today.) They crowd screams and shouts when they're given permission to kiss, and as soon as he lifts the veil off of her face, she leans forward, presses her lips again his, and she puts everything she has into it.

(_I'm sorry_, she wants to say. _I'm sorry, Peeta. You don't deserve this._)

5  
She won't be separated from him. No matter who it is that asks for a dance, she just buries her face in his fancy suit (the one she didn't really notice at all during the ceremony) until he politely tells them that it doesn't look like she's quite ready to give him up yet.

The cake is extravagant, but dry. It's almost hard to swallow the bite Peeta feeds her. There's more dancing afterwards (she's never danced so much in her life) and he murmurs to her that it's because of the _fondant _that the cake tasted that way. More so, he talks about how much time and effort probably went into the cake. Says he wouldn't mind the chance to talk to whoever it was that made it.

(She doesn't ask him if he wanted to make his own wedding cake.)

(But she wants to.)

6  
They lie in silence that night, for the most part. He nearly crushes her against his chest, and she thinks he's either crying or trying not to.

"It wasn't supposed to happen this way," he finally says.

(She knows.)


End file.
